Imagine if the emails of the Trump campaign were leaked

US cyber intelligence experts have laid the blame for the email hacks of Democratic National Committee and Hillary Clinton’s campaign squarely at the feet of “Fancy Bear”, a cyber espionage group within the Russian military intelligence agency, the GRU.  However, the Clinton campaign email system is not the first to bear the paw prints of Fancy Bear.  The Russian cyber intelligence operation has previously been involved in attacking IT systems of Eastern European governments and militaries, hacking the emails of European media personnel who wrote articles critical of Russia, and the computer systems of US defense contractors and NATO.

More recently Wikileaks has released the personal emails of John Podesta, the Chair of Hillary’s campaign, obviously also obtained from Fancy Bear, and they promise to release more batches of emails before the election.  There have also been attempts by Fancy Bear to hack into the state election records.  It is likely that there have been other cyber attacks by Fancy Bear and Cozy Bear (Fancy Bear’s s counterpart in the Russian spy agency the FSB – formally the KGB) which haven’t yet been detected.

Our intelligence agencies appear to believe that the Russians are trying to discredit our entire election process in the eyes of the world with their releases of those hacked emails.  If that is their purpose, I think it is likely that they have also hacked into the emails systems of the RNC and the Trump campaign.  If one of those targets was Donald Trump’s organization, Wikileaks has yet to release any of the emails of Trump campaign staffers, I think for obvious reasons.  However, if the public were to be given access to the emails of the Trump staff members, one can only imagine what they might be saying to one another in their emails.

The following is how I imagine an email from Kellyannne Conway to a fellow campaign staffer might read:


 I can’t believe I was stupid enough to be talked into taking this job. Donald always thinks he is the smartest person in the room but he really a pig headed, brainless fool. I pore though hundreds of poll results in order to come up with the ideal strategy for him – which is already like trying to make chicken salad out of chicken shit – and the SOB just tosses aside countless hours of my work and instead goes with the first lame thought the enters into his pea size brain from God knows where. He has the attention span of a 4 year old!

We lay out a perfect attack plan for him against Clinton, but he is so thin skinned that all her campaign has to do is throw a little red meat in front of him and he is off message defending himself for a week.

 Damn, that Access Hollywood tape came out of nowhere. We already had “women problems” with all of Donald’s loose talk on the campaign trail, but now with all those women coming forward ….it’s going to kill us with women in every demographic.  He swears that it was all just talk, that the Clinton campaign put them up to it, but I know he was lying… his lips moved.

Look, you and I need to be looking for the first available exit ramp – this is killing our careers. Sorry I got you into this.


I’m sure that an email like this would not be the only juicy subjects which might be discussed in Trump campaign emails. And consider what the RNC staffers might be saying in their emails about the Trump campaign; I’m willing to bet that they are not all complementary.  However, we can only imagine because it doesn’t look like Vladimir Putin is going to be ending his bromance with his buddy Donald Trump anytime soon.

Cajun    10/28/16